you.

i really wanted to tell you how i feel from my own mouth yesterday. i'm always a chicken when it comes to telling you about my feelings towards you. whenever you're around me, words just get lost inside. my mouth doesnt know what to say to you, but my heart does. i just want to tell you that i really love you and i really dont know how to say it to you but it doesnt mean that i dont mean it. i'm really sorry i've always wanted to tell you since that day on christmas '09.

you're leaving already today, i've been procrastinating about telling you for so long. i dont want to seem like a flirt to you. i'm sorry for that mistake i did for breaking your heart, i think, that many years ago, walking away from you. i guess you wouldnt forgive me for that part which made you still think that i'm the type who would like anyone easily and my feelings will fade really fast. you'll be there for 5 years, and i promise i'll study hard and try to get to aus asap. i really wanted to tell you in the car yesterday, but i couldnt. all i could do was just pinch your cheeks for that 2 - 3 minutes plus and not let go, telling you from my heart that i'm going to miss you so much. my eyes was about to tear up but i told myself i cant because, yeah your mom was in the car and i dont want you to be depressed. i really like you and i'll wait for you till the day i can pinch your cheeks again. i love you.

lost of words at mouth, lots of words at heart.

1 more week to be exact till you leave. dont really know what i'm feeling or thinking atm. sucks to be me especially when its chinese new year. i had so much to tell you from the start, but as disappointments keep happening i just lost everything to say. have planned so many things to do to keep you happy right after your exams. fixed my skateboard, planned to go to the playground and be kids again. but since then everything just started going more awkward. we make up and things seem awesome just for that moment. and when we have our conflicts. it last 10 times more than when we're fine. guess i'll never get to tell you everything. i'm so confused. i just dont know what to do. things are so different now. we cant even talk like how we used to. imy greatest friend. i really do.