The Truth.

have been having lots of emotions this past few months. i'm the kind who gets affected by things, especially to people whom i really care for. Maybe for some, its easy for them to express how they feel to people who they like or care for. but for me, its like the hardest thing to do, opening up to the person i like. i was once an asshole who liked people easily, but after a relationship which failed after 2 years, and waiting for someone who i used to like, it really tested me alot.

its like a test to see how patient you can get, just to please that special someone. but life isnt about smooth rides, or things which go as how you want to. its about the pain and sacrifices you go through. letting yourself hurt and to put a smile on that someone's face is really priceless.

although we're just the best of friends, we can talk about anything or everything, but the thing that we find so hard to talk about is, ABOUT US. opening to one another seems to be the hardest thing. i dont know about her, but to me. THIS IS THE HARDEST. it was really easy for me before with others, it was so easy to tell them the words I LIKE YOU. but why is it so hard now?

i used to say alot of things, expressing things. but now words seem lost in my mouth. how does it feel, wanting to tell a person so much how much you feel, how much you really do care and like the person when its so hard to just form those 3 words. its not like i really want to hide things, wanting the other person to get hurt by me. telling someone you like them is easy, but doing things to show how much they mean to you really is the hardest thing. but for me, i tend to do it the hard way. and yet i fail.

i've been trying hard to prove every feeling i have. but things, people around tend to make everything a misunderstanding. so what can i do? "action speaks louder than words". but to me, the feeling inside you speaks the loudest, if it was given a chance of course. a chance that has assurance that it wouldnt turn ugly.

there were moments which i felt, we were gonna lose each other. the arguments, the misunderstandings about others and stuffs. all this felt like i've been trying so hard to be perfect, not to let her down, but instead we were heading to an end. its not about losing any ordinary person, its about losing your BESTFRIEND, someone who matters. and after our misunds, we just move on, astho the feeling of being hurt, the problems we had were never there.

there was this song on the radio, and all i remembered was the word TRYING. the beat, the rhythm were stuck in my head, but the lyrics of the song just couldnt form. and so i did what every teenager would, that is, Google.and the result? i found this song called THE TRUTH by KRIS ALLEN.

the lyrics is exactly what i am feeling. and especially at that moment when i was really down. hope you guys enjoy this song =)

THE SONG IS IN MY MEDIA PLAYER, JUST CLICK THE 'NEXT' BUTTON =)

and to that special someone, if you read this, this is exactly how i feel inside. i'm sorry for everything.

Lying next to you
Wishing I could disappear
Let you fall asleep
And vanish out into thin air

It's the elephant in the room
And we pretend that we don't see it
It's an avalanche that looms above our heads
And we don't believe it

Trying to be perfect, trying not to let you down
Honesty is honestly the hardest thing for me right now
While the floors underneath our feet are crumbling
The walls we built together tumbling
I still stand here, holding up the roof
'Cause it's easier than telling the truth

I still keep your photographs
I remember how we used to laugh
I can't keep on losing sleep
If you're ok with being torn in half

It's the elephant in the room
And we pretend that we don't see it
It's an avalanche that looms above our heads
And we don't believe it

Trying to be perfect, trying not to let you down
Honesty is honestly the hardest thing for me right now
While the floors underneath our feet are crumbling
The walls we built together tumbling
I still stand here, holding up the roof
'Cause it's easier than telling the truth

Stop ignoring that our hearts are mourning
And let the rain come in
Stop pretending that it's not ending
And let the end begin

Trying to be perfect, trying not to let you down
Honesty is honestly the hardest thing for me right now
While the floors underneath our feet are crumbling
The walls we built together tumbling
I still stand here, holding up the roof
'Cause it's easier than telling the truth

can't you just treat me better?

i still dont get it. what is going on? why must you be so mean? i text you like almost everytime whenever you seem down, i do care genuinely. and its like you just dont give a damn. did i do something wrong? i just wanna talk to you, is that so bad? seriously i miss the times when we used to talk on the phone for hours rather than those couple of tens of minutes. whenever i text you, sometimes its asthough i'm texting the wall. why must you do this to me? why do i get so affected by this.

Ms. S. Quack. [miss ass crack] LOL.

thanks S you've been a great friend too =P

well, people may think that you're a liar, two faced, a blabber mouth. but i've judged you myself. and i know and believe/trust you are not that type of person that others see in you. YOU ARE A AWESOME creation of God! so yeah, for a 15+ year old. well, you're more matured than me i can say LOL, you're good at talking [ both craps and facts ]. and i guess you're good at dancing tho, GO JabbawockeeZ. hahaha.

you're very spiritual tho, thats good about you, sometimes too spiritual, DONT SO EXTRA KAY. =P well, all i can ask from Him is that to keep you just the way you are. and i hope and pray that, that special someone you once had would come back to you some day again. =) so yeah S, Jesus loves you wei =D

Losing YOU, is like living in a World with no air.

i blew it again. each time we get closer. something happens. im sorry i've not been a great best friend. i failed. AS ALWAYS. im seriously scared that one day, i'll lose you. and thats the worse thing that can happen. im learning to let go of my feelings now tho. its hard. but its worth it. better than losing someone you cherish so much and never get to lean on them anymore.

yes, sometimes i hate how you talk, but thats just you. being you yourself, thats what i like. tho sometimes you dont automatically come to me when im down. i always expect you to be there for me each and everytime. but thats okay, i dont blame you. we're not perfect. just hope that things would get better. i've lost so many people. i cant lose you too. you should really know how much you mean to me despite how i used to remind you.

you helped me get through those problems i had, we had each others back. we were like each other's pillars. im so glad that we made it through. it wasnt easy. im sorry for being stupid, the stupid things i said, the stupid things i did. i dont want you to forget me one day, forget me as a STUPID friend. i want you to remember me, remember me always as the SILLIEST friend you ever had. someone who would stay up all night texting you tons of messages. thinking what you're doing. hoping to put a big wide smile on your face on the next day when you read those annoying yet cute messages.

i always wonder why you like to slam my calls whenever i say something annoying and ignore me. makes me hurt. but its just your way of wanting me to know what dumb things i can say on the phone. i just like arguing with you, how much i sayang you and you say i dont. i dont know why. haha. but the things you do, make me feel secured. a real bestfriend i could ever had. and i wanna thank you, for texting me in the hospital, the only one who teman me through the phone. and i wanna thank you for scolding me for whatever i did wrong.

we used to tell each other, how we really thank God, how He put both of us to help one another. but not anymore? im sorry for what happened during camp. i broke my promise. each time i promise you something, i end up breaking it. im sorry for the night during xmas. i admit. i was jealous. thats why i ignored you the whole night. and im sorry for having that small argument on that night. which made us both really sad the next day. im sorry if i made you confused tho. i was just jealous.

to tell you the truth, there are many things that i am jealous of. im jealous because i'm scared of losing a special friend like you. i've lost so many friends who i had trust, how can i lose another one like you? and you did the biggest favour for me. i wanna keep reminding you that you mean so much. its like losing something really valuable. i really cherish this friendship, and i cant lose it. because you are my GREATEST friend. i want you to be there for me on standby 24/7 like how i always am =(

i know that you dont like me talking to others. especially girls. you're scared that i'll forget you one day. like how i did, and yes i still regret what i did few years ago till today. i lied the biggest lie and acted the greatest act. but i wanna assure you that no matter what, you'll still be sitting at the same spot, the GREATEST friend spot. i'll never forget you i swear. and i promise. this is something i can't break. you'll be thinking "yeah, we'll see". remember what we promised each other? that we'll be there for one another no matter what? i hope we can really hold that promise tho.

i really wanna know what your expectations are towards me, so that i can stop failing you. i wanna know whatever's in your mind. i'm not physic too. please tell me kay? and i promise i'll tell you mine. i'm sorry it seemed so hard for me to put all these in simple words to tell you on the phone. it's hard. but this is just how i profess my sincerity. i hate having arguments with you. i'm really sorry. sorry cant cure anything. but what can i say? sigh.

camp really made things so hard. we argued more and more after it. im sorry i've always failed being someone special in your eyes. im learning and am still trying my best. but please promise me you'll stop slamming the phone and be more patient with me? =/ and to tell you honestly. i cant sleep whenever we have this cold treatment going on. you should be thankful you're the only one im scared of. maybe because of all the high expectations you have towards me. but im thankful for being a somebody in your eyes, makes me feel appreciated.

each time you sing, attempt to annoy me with those cute sounds, call me by that weird cute name you gave really makes me smile, altho i dont say it, i mean, you cant expect me to shout "WOI, IM SMILING LA ENOUGH", but behind that annoying crappy phone, im giving you a smile, a smile that proves how you can make me smile with just simple cute things. tell you a secret. you always fail to annoy me. HAHAHAHA. failure =P

okay its getting late now. AND YEAH. while im writing this, you're still ignoring me. i'm refreshing my damn facebook in hope you'll say something. so imagine how sad i am right now. and how pitiful this is. =( its no fun seriously. and i only have you right now, and while you're not here at this moment. it just suck. its like sitting in a jail cell with no one just a damn computer and a damn blog to write my feelings out. =/ okay then. i hope we'll be better after you see this. ILY greatest friend =D remember that. i hope that after you read this, not only would you smile =) but be so touched, that you'll sob and gimme a hug. HEH.

i'm back!! i hope =/

well yeah. guess i'll start blogging soon again. many insecured feelings lately. well, part of life i guess. will be posting some stuff soon. =/

In loving Memory of Andrew Chow Kin Mun <14/03/92 - 14/10/09>

IPOH: Seorang remaja yang terbabit dalam pergaduhan di sebuah kedai makan berhampiran kawasan perumahan di Puncak Gerbang Meru Indah, di sini malam tadi, mati di Hospital Raja Permaisuri Bainun hari ini.

Andrew Chow Kin Mun, 17, yang cedera parah di kepala mati pada pukul 11.15 pagi ini.

Ketua Jabatan Siasatan Jenayah Perak, SAC II Mohd Dzuraidi Ibrahim, berkata pergaduhan itu dilapor berlaku pada jam 12.30 tengah malam tadi ketika remaja itu sedang berbual dengan rakannya di kedai makan berhampiran taman perumahan itu.

"Mereka dihampiri sekumpulan lelaki dari arah belakang dan seorang daripada lelaki itu bertindak memukul mangsa dengan menggunakan senjata tajam menyebabkan tercetus pergaduhan," katanya ketika ditemui pada majlis Sambutan Aidilfitri Ibu Pejabat Polis Daerah Ipoh di sini hari ini.

Beliau berkata, Andrew yang mengalami kecederaan serius di kepala dan beberapa bahagian badan dihantar ke Hospital Raja Permaisuri Bainun untuk rawatan.

"Polis menemui beberapa batang kayu dan parang di tempat kejadian yang dipercayai digunakan untuk memukul mangsa," katanya.

Mohd Dzuraidi meminta orang ramai yang mempunyai maklumat mengenai kejadian itu supaya menghubungi balai polis berhampiran bagi membantu siasatan. - Bernama

sourced from Berita Harian Online

207 Peugeot vs. Parkour

introduced by vilminn